l. e. n. n. y ’s m. i. n. d.

Wow, been so long since the last time I write here.
well, I’ve been using my multiply page as the place for me to put my
stories lately and just forgot to export them here.
But for now, I dedicate my story here in my FS.

It’s the last day of August.
As from tomorrow, I’ll live my life in my September
Yes, since few years ago, September has been a special month for me..
(not all reasons can I write here, but yes, it’s a special month.)
I remembered the first day I arrived here in Belgium, September 2006.
God… it was soooo hard for me at the first.
With all the people I love in Indo, with the new damn Belgian weather
(you could feel all the 4 seasons within a day. sounds cool?!),
with the new ‘feeding regime’ here (all about bread and pasta, sigh),
and so on and on and on…
BUT, I have to admit, those were my amazing moments…..
The very first morning I arrived in Brussels,
the very first train I took to go to Ghent,
the very first step in my room here in Home Boudewijn,
the very first friends I make,
the very first class I had,
the very first exam I finished,
and all first things I have here….

Almost 2 years now.  feels like yesterday!
When I sat in the computer lab on the 4th floor of Bio-ITB,
and read the announcement for the very first time,
that I got the scholarship and will fly away to Belgium………. wow!
I just went out to the balcony,
and breath.

and now,
now I have to face my final days here, just for a few days more,
to leave the people I care here and go back to the people I left in Indo.
I’m grateful. but, somehow…. somehow, I feel blue.
Will everything be alright back there?
Will I be alright?
Maybe it’s time for me now to go out to my balcony here,
and breath…………

"When you play with fire
sometimes you get burned,
when you take a chance or two..
But time is never wasted,

when you’ve lived and learned

And in time it all comes back to you.. 
and now I  know
all those things I’d treasured

the ones I’d loved the best

were the things that I’d left behind.
So, let me enjoy my last days here for now,
till I’m home again and feeling right………"

Have I told you that I have many crazy lovely new friends in here? yes,
and they are all so nice, some of them are just too much lovable..
(it’s not a compliment guys, hahah). and after recalling for a few
time, I just realized that most of the guy friends i have here are all
taken. either married or in a relationship. either their partner are
here or in another country. This brought me to the fact that for me
being friends with the ‘taken’ is just much more easy and enjoyable
than being friends with the singles. No offense, it’s just me. The fact
that I don’t have to worry about the other ‘feelings’ that often appear
after being ‘just friends’ for a while.. All those flirts or things
like that. Well, you understand me. You might say that I’m not being
reasonable, but that’s the fact.. Not always the case though, of course.
I just like the circumstances, where I don’t have to worry too much for
some misunderstanding with the feelings, because there’s simply no feeling
other than caring as friends, nice friends. Or maybe this is due to
fact that I am the one who is weak inside, who is sometimes fell for
something or someone too easily, and how often I hate myself because of
it…. And how being friends with the ‘taken’ gives me that
‘protected’-kind-of-feeling which avoid me from being disappointed, or
simply afraid to make others disappointed. Whatever, I guess I’m just
lucky to have them here ‘Love’ you guys… muaaahhhhh.. hahah

today i did some whole-day-shopping in the centrum.. i went there by bus with jimmy and lina. we met MasAwang and some other indonesian students there. had lunch with some fries and frikandel, quite okay.. ( MasAwang just bought ’sambal pemoeda’, hohohohoho, nikmat!). i went to blokker to bought some plates and other cooking stuffs. we also went to some second-hand-goods store ( i got 2 small carpets for €5). Tried to find a cheap bike but didn’t find it yet.. MbakEmmy has one bike for sale and she offered it to me, it is so small and a bit too short for me, but i don’t know, if i can’t find any other bike then i can just use that one. ah ya, i hate today’s weather!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dammit it was windy! cold wind, strong one, during the whole day we also went to asian market (bought rice!!! finally, haha!). got home around 5:30pm and went to the nearest supermarkt from home (c1000) around 6pm to buy some things to cook for dinner. now i can’t feel my feet nor my back…. OMG, damn tired……. gotta get some rest, i think i won’t go out tomorrow.

hahaha, i just remembered something.. when i was still sleeping this morning, somebody rang my room bell (the bell was quite noisy so i just woke up in a second, shit). last night i said to jimmy that i need him to take me to centrum around 10. i thought i was already late so i jumped out of my bed, expecting jimmy or lina outside. but it turned out that the one who rang my door wasn’t lina nor jimmy, but the guy i met yesterday in the elevator. yesterday i had a short conversation with him (weird one!). he said that he is also new here and he needs friends, bla bla bla. well, having new friends normally is a good thing for me.. he followed me to my floor (i live on 7th floor, he’s on 19th), and so in the end he knew which room where i’m staying in. and that was it for yesterday. yes friends, he then showed up this morning when i was still having my precious sleep.. and you know what, he asked me to be his girlfriend!!!!! (no need for the details, it was so much bizarre!) maaaaan, i can not understand this at all… was i dreaming?? what was he thinking??!!?!!  i just had less than 10 minutes conversation with him the day before and then he showed up this morning at 9:30am, fully dressed up, and ask me if i want him to be my boyfriend. it was like, W.T.F??!!? so much weirrrrdddddd… sigh, like a psychopath.. this place is getting more and more ‘interesting’…. hope will not getting worse!!

btw, i visited MbakYuyun’s place this afternoon, there i met tia (kiki&gung’s friend from plano-itb), rian (who looks so much like ucup!), ahmad, nares, and the other girls (geeeez sorry i don’t remember everyone). it was so nice to meet you all :)  see you later on guys, ciaooo! have a great weekend :))

Hey M,

it turns out that i don’t have much free time to go to the kermis
today since i’ll leave belgium tomorrow, i have to empty my room
here and make it as clean as when i got it at first.. damn tired now.
and i got my period today, it’s killing me softly.. ups, correction,
it’s killing me brutally… so yes, there i was, spending the day
preparing for the trip and doing the cleaning though i desperately need
to go out and enjoy my last night here in gent (i’m dying to try that
slingshottttttt…. boohoohooo). well, it’s rainy outside anyway.
belgium is so much cold and windy today, it’s really getting worse
here… and with this bloody hurting muscular contractions in my
ovarian wall, i just don’t know if can make it. whatever.. i guess my
LH and prostaglandin simply can’t be friends with my adrenaline for the
next few days, hummmphh…. blame the hormones. but hey! at least
something made me quite happy today. remember i told you that yesterday
i thought i’ve lost my debit card? it turned out that i forgot to take
it out from the atm machine after withdrawed some money (yes i did it,
silly me)…  it was then taken into the machine, of course. today i
came to the bank and thank God it wasn’t blocked yet so i can get it
back ;)) my dearest lovely pinky card, hihihi…. you really have to
see the expression of the officer, seeing me so much happy to get my
card back like a little girl having a new puppy, hahaha. (yes, you
should see me, haha)  Owkay then, i’m kinda hungry now. just bought
pizza with salmon for dinner, need to have some of it now.. you want
some? see you later..

kiss,
L

two words for today: messed up.

MESSED UP.

okay, today i met my professor to get some feedback of one of my examination results that turns out to be so much disappointing to me but at least i’m relieved now as i know for sure where were my problems exactly. well, at least i don’t have to redo the exam, phyuhhh…

afterwards i went to the station and bought the train ticket for tomorrow, to go to wageningen, holland. everything was okay. got the ticket. then to the post office to send a package of few of my heavy stuff to wageningen (it was a 10kg package that i had to carry on, hummmphh). done. had my lunch with lina and wa aan.

then sebbe called and he said that he just arranged the transportation to wageningen, he said tom will collect our stuffs and take all of us to wageningen by a minivan on friday, not tomorrow. dammit!! why didn’t he do that earlierrrrr.. i already did everything. i mean, everything! and so i had to go back to the station to refund the ticket (turns out that i forgot to tell the officer that i need the ticket for tomorrow and so the ticket valid from today and it’s only fully refunded if i make the cancellation at least one day before departure, so they charged me for some euros. silly me.)

i forget this and that.. these and those.. aarrgghhh.. i even forgot to take out my debit card from the atm machine after withdrawed some money. so it was blocked, have to apply for a new one. fuck. and i’m leaving within two days and i just can’t deal with this kind of thing anymore.. huhuhu.. Lenny. Lenny. you really messed up today…..

and now i get this headache. need to get some sleep……………… but all i can think about is to play that slingshot in the amusement park. really want to do it but there’s still some fear. but i want ittttttt… to be thrown awayyyyyyy, high, high and HIGH.. and all i can do is to scream. SCREAM OUT LOUD.

Can I ?

Pertama kali aku dengar kalimat ini: "begitu sempitnya waktu, begitu besarnya cinta", aku langsung mencibir tanpa merasa perlu untuk berpikir ulang. Sangat tak mungkin itu. Hah! Cinta datang karena terbiasa, selalu butuh waktu, itu prinsipku. Tapi, ternyata, prinsipku itu hanyalah satu dari sekian triliun kasus munculnya rasa cinta. Ya, sekarang aku mengerti bahwa memang tidak hanya begitu, tidak selalu begitu. Begitu sempitnya waktu begitu besarnya cinta juga bisa terjadi. Kalau kalian bertanya, apa benar itu cinta? Aku hanya bisa menjawab, kalau pun bukan cinta, aku tahu rasa sayang ini teramat besar, berharap menjadi cinta. Ah…….. semua ini karena ulah Sang Waktu! Saat aku ingin dia berjalan cepat, kenapa dia berjalan sangat lambat, seperti anak kéong saja!  Sekarang, aku butuh dia berjalan lambat, tetapi dia malah berlari kencang, melaju dan berlalu cepat. Berhenti! Ini terlalu cepat….. terlalu cepat.

Hey! Sang Waktu! Tak sadarkah kamu kalau ini TERLALU CEPAT?

Yep, I finally stood under the Tour Eiffel lights Valentine’s day without a boyfriend was not so bad, in fact, it wasn’t bad at all. Kinda felt not so satisfied for the trip, 4 days with too much nice places weren’t a right couple. Maybe gonna back there again sometimes. Back again, but not with that f**kin’ Eurolines bus (right Marc? sigh..) One thing for sure, for me, it only looks fabulous at night, or at least, late in the afternoon. with those lights around…….

yep, after being abandoned for more than 6 months, finally I have a new hair cut I cut my hair today, well it wasn’t me who worked on it (of course…), but instead of going to a normal beauty salon I went to a hairdressing school. So basically, I was being their model (for the students) to practice their lesson. Quite funny, because most of them can’t speak nor understand engels (english) and so there was just me and my surrendered face (yes, I’m still an absolute dumb in Nederlands, shame!). Thus, me and my hairdresser communicated by, euuhhm, good body language, and some mixed of english and nederlands here and there, hahaha.. But I have to admit that she did a good job, I mean she didn’t work too long (she’s already in level 6) and she’s so pretty (hah, ga nyambung, hahaha) so I didn’t notice when she finished (seriously, she’s that pretty with a great hair, perfect tanned skin colour and slim body, ckckck). So, here I am now, with my new hair

Ready to hit Paris!

hohohohohoho… ciaociao!

-Lenz’-

I know a place that we can go to, a place where no one knows you, they won’t know who we are. I know a place that we can run to, and do those things we want to, they won’t know who we are. Let me take you there, I wanna take you there. I know a place that we’ve forgotten, a place we won’t get caught in, they won’t know who we are. I know a place where we can hide out and turn our hearts inside out, they won’t know who we are. I know a place we’ll be together, and stay this young forever, they won’t know who we are. Let me take you there, I wanna take you there. We can get away to a better place if you let me take you there. We can go right now cause every second counts, boy just let me take you there….. 

-Plain White T’s- 

PS. uh huh, Rick’, you spoiled me. thank ya!

setelah hampir dua bulan tidak terjun ke dunia perbadmintonan,
akhirnya kemarin malam berhasil menggerakkan badan dan bangkit dari
kemalasan sejati

siang harinya, sebelum berangkat badminton,
aku kumpul-kumpul dengan teman-teman, ahhh senangnya. sedari bangun
tidur, sudah mampir segala bayangan akan keramaian masak-memasak,
mengobrol sana-sini, main kartu UNO, remi, sambil ledek-ledekan dan
makan cemilan. Aku kira makanannya hanya akan ada sedikit, karena
niatnya gak mau ribet masak dan mau kongkow-kongkow saja! Ternyata,
kumpulan wanita yang tengah merasa telah terbebaskan dari masa ujian
laknat itu tidak bisa dipisahkan dari acara masak memasak sambil
bercerita ria Ada juga para pria yang membantu menggoreng ini itu,
atau hanya berjalan-jalan membawa kamera mengabadikan kami yang sibuk
memasak, hihihi..

Makan siang yang nikmaaaat banget.. sambel ati
buatan mbak Julie mantap! sayur  pecel buatan bu srie juga enak sekali!
pangsit buatan nene walau gosong disana-sini juga tetep enak! ditambah
sambal botol yang menurutku udah sangat pedas juga membuat makan siang
kemarin tak seperti biasanya (jarang sekali aku makan sambal,
apalagi kalau makan sendirian). Habis itu, kue-kue dessert-nya
tambah bikin lambung hampir meledakkkk.. Ada kue yang enaaaak banget,
bolu-nya lembut sekali! Nanti aku juga mau beli deh, kata Elizabeth
belinya di daerah toko-toko Turki.. oke deh, akan kucari! Oh iya, harga
kue-nya kata dia cuma €7, untuk ukuran kue seperti itu, rasanya worth it sekali

Tak ada yang lebih menyenangkan dari perut kenyang hati senang, betul? hihihi… UNO after lunch is the best thing I had for this year, till now. Tahu
sendiri kan, selama bulan Januari kemarin sudah stress karena ujian,
sampai hari kebebasan 2Feb2008, ahhh kenikmatan akhir ujian seperti
mencapai kepuasan bercinta. hahaha, apa sih? bercanda. Main UNO sampai
capek dan akhirnya pergi badminton. Yippieeee….

Untung
masih ingat caranya main, haha. Walau badan baru mulai panas lagi, tapi
rasanya badan jadi nyaman sekali. Baru ingat lagi deh enaknya badan
berkeringat! Rasa capek karena harus berlari-lari membuat aku merasa
lebih hidup. Akhirnya hidup tidak melulu membaca course notes
dan menyantap materi ujian…….. 2 jam badminton berhasil membuat
badan hampir rontok rasanya, mantap! Tapi mau tahu apa yang lebih
mantap lagi? Main remi sampai hampir tengah malam sehabis badminton,
sambil (tetep) ngemil tortillas rasa keju pakai keju cair! nah loh..
hihihihi.. kalori yang sudah hilang digantikan kembali, hahahaha… tak
apalah, yang penting hati senang

Masih ada waktu 3kali badminton sebelum dilempar ke Holland. Huhuhuhuhu… I think I’m going to miss Gent so badly. my Boudewijn, my bed. Aku belum mulai mengepak barang nih. Yasudahlah, masih ada beberapa minggu……. sekarang aku mau baca novel!

Enjoy the krokusvakantie everyone! Have yourself a nice little break