l. e. n. n. y ’s m. i. n. d.

Last night I decided not to go the party. Though I kinda wanted to see it,
but those damn butterflies in my stomach won the war,
and successfully made me stick to the bed all night long,
with a bottle of hot water to kept my stomach warm.
I couldn’t sleep then. and I really wanted to smoke.
I changed the sheet of my bed today (after like, 3months? sigh…),
didn’t wanna make it smells like smoke, so I went out of the room.
I went to the empty storage room at the end of the corridor,
where I can smoke at the exit area. normally, nobody goes there but to smoke. it was cold there, but I kinda liked it.. those lights view. the fresh wind.. really enjoyed my time with my cigarettes.
until they came. that crazy couple, so much in love. (or lust?)
I can smell strong liquor from them, think they’re quite drunk.
first they smoke as well, I didn’t really notice them.
but I can see that they were started to kiss each other.
got wilder in time. well, I still didn’t care. (I’m getting really used to it).
’till the asshole guy giggled, they smirked and the bitch asked me,
"finish with your cigarettes? we want to, ehm you know, little fun, a while…"
(you adults must understand what they meant,
they want me to leave so that they can hooked up or whatsoever)
oh I still remember how she sounded like an absolute moron!!
jerk! damn bitch damn asshole! can’t you just find a room or something??
i was really enjoying my smoking time, just wanna kick them out far far awaaay. so then, I stared the asshole guy in the eyes, gave him that nastiest smile of mine, and answered with the tone of that moron bitch over there, "can I watch?";  and that asshole guy spontaneously said, "yeaaaah sure, what about joining? great eh?"
HAH!! you should have seen her face! that bitch!
she got so pissed off, grunted and hit him once.   
after that they went away, left me all alone again, enjoying my night.
hahahahahahhaahahahaaaaa…. those butterflies can win,
but this time, I WON!!!

ps. thank God that bitch didn’t start a real fight with me…   
      otherwise I could use my lighter and simply burn her!! hiaaaaaaa….

i just watched a movie titled "Catch and Release",
starring Jennifer Garner (yes, the one whom he always adore).
the basic story of the movie is that,
you might think that you knew every single thing about the one you loved,
you might quite sure that you knew his life, his world, his universe..
but, in the end, the nature will reveal everything,
and show you that, no, you might not..
you might not know everything.
and so, let it go.. if that’s how the story should be written..
and you move on. just try to let it go..
and you might hurt somebody else, in the time you try to move on.
but, again, if it’s how the story should be ended,
then your following "the one you love" will always be there,
still be there waiting for you, waiting till’ you’re healed,
and when you’re finally  ready for him,
he’s there, smiling to you, then kiss you,
and simply says, "what took you so long……?",

while gives you the warmest hug,
because he’s sure that in the end, you’ll come.
oh, how i like this movie…

PS.

                                                                -Catch and Release movie quote-

gila.
gila. gila. gila. gila. gilaaaaa..
gw masih gemetaran.
gw masih deh-degan.
gw masih kebayang-bayang.
gilaaaa..

barusan nonton salah satu film hasil donlot-an tadi di kampus, judulnya the descent.
1.5jam jantung gw dipaksa berdenyut cepat.
ceritanya tentang sekelompok wanita yang cinta berpetualang,
yang ingin ‘bersenang-senang’ menjelajah suatu gua.
salah satu dari mereka, tanpa sepengetahuan teman-temannya yang lain,
berencana
jadi ‘jagoan’ dengan membawa semua wanita itu masuk gua yang belum
pernah dimasuki orang lain (dan keluar dengan selamat).
"we might be the first one who discover it!", begitu pikirnya.
mereka bersenang-senang.
sampai akhirnya mereka terjebak. ga bisa keluar.
no way out. no way out. no way out.

di dalam gua itu, ternyata hidup mahluk-mahluk ‘purba’,
bentuknya mirip manusia, versi alam liar. versi purba.
mungkin mahluk ini yang dimaksud ‘the descent‘.
sudah bisa ditebak akhirnya, semuanya terkurung. satu per satu mati.
kecuali satu orang. dan itu pun tak ada ending-nya.
film berakhir begitu saja. no way out. no way out.

Gosh,,,, bener deh, gw bener-bener ikut terjebak di gua itu.
gw gemetaran. i kept telling myself, ‘come on girls.. come on….’
mungkin itu rasanya.. terjebak. terjebak dalam-dalam.
seperti keinginan terakhir dalam hidup ini hanya berharap untuk bisa keluar…
STOP. KELUAR. BEBAS. KELUAR.. KELUAR.. KELUAR!!!

masih gemetaran. masih berdegup kencang.
jangan sampai seperti itu, bisa gila.
not only the case of stuck in a cave like in this story.but in the real life.
i don’t want to be stuck forever, f*ckin’ don’t know if there’s a way out, or no.
oh mengerikan! mengerikaaaaaaaann!!!!!!!!!

jangan sampai gw mimpi buruk malam ini.
oh God, ini yang gw benci tentang menonton film-film seperti ini.
bayangan ini selalu akan ada di kepala. stuck. DAMN!!!!

this time i just wanna share about "dosen italiano nu gelo…"
yup, si dosen italiano ini selama dua hari sukses bikin gw ketawa-ketawa melulu di kelas.. (berhubung dia itu guest lecturer
jadi dia memang terbang dari italy buat ngajar selama 2 hari saja..
seharusnya sih 3 hari tapi dia udah beresin semua bahan dalam 2 hari..)

Prof.
Tibaldi ini yah, hobi banget ngeroko (emang dingin bgt sih ruangan
kelasnya..) jadi dikit-dikit break untuk ngasi doi waktu buat ngeroko..
weitsss, gw sih asik-asik aja secara gw juga dikit-dikit pengen ke wc!
(kebelet pipis moloooo, habis dingin bgttttt!! padahal heater semua
sudah nyala tapi ga tau tuh masih ttp dingin aja.. sampe akhirnya
koordinator gw naro heater kecil di lorong-lorong kelas, hahaha… tau
aja kita smua pada shivering.. bayangin aja kita di kelas pada pake jaket lengkap ama sarung tangan!! hahahaha….)

ah ja, back to the italiano nu gelo.. si dosen italiano ini tuh suka ngebanyol, dikit-dikit ngelucu, plus.. ketawanya kocak banget…
bukan
apa-apa, dia kalo ketawa mirip ketawanya para MAFIA alias
mafioso-mafioso khas italy itu! huakakakakakka….. plus ekspresi
mukanya itu loh, aaaahhhhh.. ketawa culas yang bikin pengen
cubitttttttt… makanya setiap dia mengeluarkan tawa mafioso-nya itu,
gw ga bisa nahan ketawa, dan lanjut terus2an cekikikan padahal yang
lain udah pada beres ketawanya.. bhwakakakka…..

udah gitu, si
ranti ama nene pada bilang kalo dia itu lucu, dan mengira-ngira seperti
apa rupa wajahnya selagi dia masih di usia ranum alias masih muda,
hahahaha….. pasti ganteng! waaaaaaaaaa…. jadilah selama dua hari
diajar sama dia kerjaan gw cuma ketawa-ketawa atau memandangi wajah doi
mengira-ngira seperti apa dia di masa mudanya.. pasti cakep, lucu,
kocak, dan yang pasti: gelooooooooo…….. hahahaha..

pisssss Pak!! habisnya bapak lucu bgt siiiiiiiih

Iqbal said somewhere in his blog titled "ill fate….." :
Life
is indeed bittersweet and harsh, and the fact that we are not equal
because our genes said so seems inevitable. Some of us are lucky enough
to have a good life, while others suffers in their unfortunate fate.
(i’m afraid that first you’ll have to read his blog to know what we’re talking about..)

well, i found a very attracting line while i was studying genetics tonight:
"occasional
failure to repair DNA or correct errors in replication is also central
in survival because these anomalies exist as mutations, and without
mutations evolution would be impossible.."

buuummmm!! this line suddenly hit me and i directly remembered about Iqbal’s writing here… so, why God treat us unequally the same, even in the very basic genetics level, besides
to make human diversity (oh c’mon, it won’t be interesting just to have
one single type of man/woman in this big big world, will it?), it might
be for the "future" purposes…

i think this word ‘evolution’
might be the keyword…. we can take those diseases, or all kind of
mutations exist in human of these generations, as God’s tool for us to
reach the better human generations in the future… and we, human being
of the current generations, are the ones who will have to find out the
way, by those fancy genetics engineering knowledges so well, yeah,
in the end, we just have to act as a human being, to take the fate as
the fate, from our one and only God, either as the fortunate or the
unfortunate one…  always think positive, and think forward, for the
future of our next generations of human being in this earth……

LONG LIVE GENETICS!!!!!!!!!!!

PS.
once again, i don’t try to see this whole human-genetics-fate-things in
The Almighty’s point of view… i really don’t know how to do that.. i
just make guesses, or maybe expectations about it.. i just want to
think positive, because i don’t know, maybe someday there’s some
mutation occured in my DNA (oh God please don’t..) and i have to be
that "unfortunate one", well who know’s? but if it really happens to
me, i just hope that time i still have this belief that God must have
(a) great reason(s).. like the wise men said, everything happens for a reason, right? 

"iri deh…….."
sering banget kata-kata itu melintas di pikiran.
sebagai
manusia tidak sempurna, terkadang lenny lupa kalau kesempurnaan itu
memang cuma milik Tuhan. walau sebenernya, standar kesempurnaan itu
juga bisa dibuat berdasarkan definisi kondisi ’sempurna’  bagi/oleh
masing-masing individu bukan? hummm…

kali ini lenny iri sama orang-orang yang punya kerjaan enak.
mmmm, enak disini itu menurut pemikiran lenny yah..
misalnya kerjaan yang bisa sambil jalan-jalan alias travelling gitu..
jurnalis berita nasional atau mancanegara, pembawa acara petualangan alam dst dst..
jangan jauh-jauh deh, bahkan dulu juga iri sama ibuku sendiri,
karena beliau sering pergi dinas buat research, keliling Indonesia dan keluar negeri..
ah iri deh sama orang-orang yang bener-bener cinta dan betul-betul menikmati pekerjaannya.
orang-orang yang dengan senyum lebarrrr berkata "I LOVE MY JOBBBB"
duh…… iri. iri banget.

orang-orang itu juga lenny yakin pasti ga akan bilang kalau pekerjaan mereka itu gampang.
atau ga akan bikin capek. semua pekerjaan pasti ada capeknya lah..
mereka mungkin bilang, "emang gampang ‘Len???"
tapi tetep aja, rasa iri terlintas tak tertahankan…
bukan iri dengki loh!  rasa iri ini biasanya jadi mimpi… cita-cita…
oh, God, please, please give me a chance to have a job that I love,
or at least give me that ability to love the job that I have, later in my life..

aahhh.. rasa iri ini,
selalu menciptakan mimpi…..
semoga jadi kenyataan. amin.

ayo belajar ah!!!!   jangan mimpi ajaaaaaaa…

oh my very first BOWLING night……..

hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi
akhirnyaaaa.. berhasil melempar bola bowling. hahahahaha **pertama kali niiiih**
dua game cuma menghasilkan score 100 saja,
kagak pernah strike, paling mentok sisa satu.
arrrrggghhhhhhhh…………..  susah amat siiiih!
but really, it was so much fun!
main lagi yuuuuuuuuuuuks,
ada yang minat jadi trainer bowling gw?
lamaran bisa diajukan in person,
diutamakan yang ganteng seksi.. ahahaha
**trainer apa trainerrrrrrr????**

[Overpoort Bowling, 5Nov '07]